Kinney's Kryptonite
by KaiTakarai
Summary: Even the great Brian Kinney is not immune to irrational fears. Humor. Oneshot. Rated M for language. Brian/Justin.


Necessary evil disclaimer: I do not own Queer as Folk (duh) but if I did, Brian and Justin would never forgive me for the many creative things I'd put them through :p No profit is being made off this story and no offense is intended to the rightful owners of QAF or the beautiful actors who portrayed any of the characters I've chosen to play with this time around. I'm a broke college student, so I wouldn't bother to sue; the only things in my life truly worth anything are my partner, our cat, and our friends, and you can't have them :p

Author's note: Definitely not my best writing, as it was a rush job for my partner, who was pissed at Brian and a touch depressed. I decided he needed a laugh and might enjoy seeing Brian knocked down a peg. Feedback and reviews always welcome. Enjoy :D

**Kinney's Kryptonite**

Justin had just managed to drift off to sleep again, very much used to this early morning routine; Brian's alarm would wake them and the older man would shut it off amidst a stream of colorful language. He'd lie in bed for another few minutes before huffing and dragging his beautiful naked self out from between the sheets, off to shower and greet the day. Running a business was, to quote Brian, a pain in the fucking ass, and not in a good way. It had started like any other morning, and Justin had no qualms about cuddling up in their bed and going back to sleep; but his slumber was rather suddenly and rudely disturbed by what could only be called a screech resounding through the loft, from the general direction of the bathroom. Justin sat bolt upright in bed, pretty blue eyes wide, wondering just what in the _hell_ had made such a god awful sound.

In that same moment, a brunette-topped streak of tan came careening out of the bathroom, passed the bed, down the stairs into the loft, and was out of sight before Justin could so much as blink. He sat dumbfounded for a long moment, full lips slightly parted, before he finally pushed himself up and out of bed to go after his partner, who had, apparently, lost his fucking mind. Taking the stairs down into the living room of the loft, he paused, eyes searching. He wasn't sure what he'd expected to find, but when he turned toward the kitchen and found his lover perched, nude and looking quite spooked, atop the counter beside the sink, he could only stare, open-mouthed, still not sure what had incited this most recent queen out.

"Brian," he began, somewhat cautiously, as he dared to ask, knowing full well that he'd probably regret it, "what the hell are you doing?"

"Spider," Brian managed to answer, as the younger man blinked in confusion at him. It took a moment for that one word to make any sense to the still-sleepy blonde, but when it finally registered, he all but doubled over laughing. Brian, his tough as fucking nails lover, was afraid of a damn spider?! He ended up back on his ass on the floor after a moment, holding his sides as he laughed. Brian was, to say the least, not amused.

"Oh, _fuck_ you," he grumbled. "Will you just kill the fucking thing? I am not going to be late to work because of a fucking _bug_."

More laughter ensued, as well as the occasional adorable little snort, as the artist couldn't help but taunt, "Brian fucking Kinney; God of Liberty Avenue, afraid of a... a fucking _spider_!" He almost couldn't breathe through his laughter, choking on his own words, but all the same, he was pushing himself to his feet, intent on fetching a towel and ridding Brian's bathroom of the menace that was the eight-legged little beast which Justin still couldn't believe had sent Brian running about in his birthday suit.

"Where is it?" he managed to ask as Brian handed him several paper towels from his perch beside the sink.

"Shower. By the drain. And so help me, if you tell anyone about this, Sunshine, I will..."

"Don't worry; I will. Who am I to deny Michael and the others a good laugh?"

"Justin," Brian all but growled in warning.

"Oh stop being such a queen. I'll kill the big bad buggy so you can get ready for work. Who knew my partner had it in him to be such a pussy?" Justin knew he was pissing Brian off, of course, but this was golden; he couldn't resist the urge to taunt him rather mercilessly about this little phobia, even if it would earn him a few nights on the couch, or worse, back at Debbie's place.

"I am _not_ a pussy!" Brian called after Justin as he wandered back towards their bedroom. Oddly enough, he hadn't argued the use of the word 'partner' this time around. They were making progress, Justin thought, as he did his best not to crack up laughing again when he found the aforementioned 'big bad buggy' that was haunting the shower. It was small enough that anyone but Brian would have missed it. The same attention to detail that made him a master of advertising came back to kick him in his shapely ass this morning, apparently. Chuckling, Justin simply turned on the water and let it wash the tiny spider down the drain, waiting a few moments to be sure it was well and truly gone, if only for Brian's peace of mind. As he turned and found his naked lover standing in the doorway, watching him with curious and slightly wide hazel eyes, he couldn't help but taunt in his best singing voice, "The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout..."

An hour later, still locked out of the loft in his own lovely, though decidedly more pale birthday suit, Justin was still grinning. It was so fucking worth it.


End file.
